Day 5 of 28 Days of Gratitude

"Gratitude is riches. Complaint is poverty."

Ohhhhhh how I love this daaaaayy!! Magic MONEY!!! Money gets such a bad rap because, as the saying goes, as ridiculous as it sounds, and I couldn't agree less, "money is the root of all evil" ... um, what? Don't we need money to pay for literally everything? Clothes, clean water, electricity, food, cool shit, amazing experiences, travel, whether it's a few towns over or a few countries over...  YES YES YES!

Money is a tool.  Money is a resource.  Money is neutral.  Money has always, and will always support me.  It has always and will always support you. Look around... everything you see all around you, you have created... you have brought this into your life.  

I remember sleeping on a bunk bed a little over 3 years ago in a homeless shelter, afraid to move, afraid to make a sound, scared out of my fucking mind.  It smelled.  It was well after midnight by the time I checked in.  I couldn't bring in my duffel bag, so the woman gave me a black trash bag to put my belongings.  Talk about demoralizing.  I had a job.  A good job.  A job I was proud of.  A job I couldn't lose just because I didn't have a home nor a car. All I remember was convincing myself to get a good nights rest because I needed to catch an early ass train to make it to work on time... I was way the fuck out there, like a 2 hour commute via train because of the way they're spaced out.  I could barely sleep.  My heart was racing.  My alarm was set.  Why the fuck was I sleeping on the top bunk in a smelly ass homeless shelter? I woke up around 5 or so, took a shower, got ready in the bathroom with a few other women who knew each other... they didn't look homeless.  Neither did I. They really quite literally, looked like they had their shit together, and so did I. It was amazing. What the hell was I doing here?

I created this.

I remember being like, fucking shit, what the fuck am I going to do. Where am I going to sleep tonight? How the hell am I going to tell my daughter? As timing is always divine, she was at her dad's house when all this shit went down, but there was only a few days left until I had to pick her up from school with no car, no home... I had to tell her dad, as embarrassing as this was, guilt, shame, you name it, I felt it.

But, I had to remember that I created this.

I didn't worry about it. I literally just went to work that morning, transferred everything from the trash bag, back to my duffel bag, which was heavy as fuck, thinking to myself, I can't drag this thing around with me constantly... So I had a plan to basically leave the bag under my desk and get to work early enough every morning to get ready before work, before any of my coworkers saw me, and literally act as if, nothing was different.

Hey, ya know what though? I created this.

I was supported.  I surrendered.  I wasn't in control, yet... I was.  I remember being excited about being able to save every last penny to put a bomb-ass deposit on a new place... this excited the fuck out of me.  I knew my current situation was not my final destination.  Everything felt fine.

Because, I created this.

How did I get into that fucking mess to begin with?  I created this!  I lost myself.  I had lost myself long before, and was trying to put pieces of my life back together, except it felt like I was blindfolded and I had all these pieces, but didn't know what the final picture was supposed to look like. I put myself in a situation where I relinquished all things that were my own. I did what felt right at the time, but being in this situation made me felt like I had made every wrong move.  In hindsight, I did everything right.  I learned my biggest lessons from my darkest days.  This isn't the first time I had lost a house or lost a car, but it was going to be the fucking last.  I was not OK with continuing to do the same things, making the same decisions, making the same mistakes, finding myself in the same sad story even though it was a different book. 

I created this.

Long story short, I worked my fingers to the bone hunting for a new place.  Making phone calls, sending emails, setting up appointments, convincing the landlord I was his best choice and just pick me, PICK ME already.... within 30 days I had a new place all my own again, and it felt so fucking amazing  THIRTY DAYS!!! I was able to get all my shit and move everything in, in what seemed like, no time at all.  I look back like, fuck yes!! I handled that like a fucking BOSS. Moving on, leveling up, and not repeating that same story ever again. 

I wasn't scared.  I was excited and fucking driven to do more.  This is exactly the time I started working on my inner healing, and let me tell you, my life has sky rocketed into the life of my dreams, getting better and better. There are still highs and lows, we're human, duh, but the difference with my belief system, how I choose to live, is like night & day.

So again, how does this relate to money? Money has been amazing tool that has helped me literally create the life of my dreams. Money has enabled me to earn my certifications, so that I can continue to apply what I've learned, and help others.  Money puts food on the table to feed my family.  Money keeps the roof over our heads, and the clothes on our back. Money enables me to tithe, donate and contribute to causes that make my heart full.

Money supports me.  It has always supported me. When I began to get aligned, and feel gratitude around money, all my purchases and all of the services I was using, money began flowing in effortlessly. I started living life on purpose.  

So here's my point... what would I do without money? What would any of us do? Why the fuck does everyone work, if we all weren't after money?  Poverty mentality is a mindset.... we do NOT have to financially suffer in this lifetime. When you feel abundant, abundance will find you.  I can hear people saying to themselves right now, "it's not all about the money." No, it's not.  What good is it to have stacks of money if you don't do anything with it.  It's not about the money, it's about the experiences and all of the GOOD that can be done with it. Example... 

The first 10% of my income gets tithed.  No. Matter. What.  If my paycheck is $64 or $640, it's the first 10%. What is that? That's literally such a small drop.  Think about it.  Every $100 you earn, you tithe $10. That's it. And that little bit goes so far when you're tithing to a place that fills your soul with happiness!

I hear people say "if I was a millionaire, I would bla-bla-blibbidy-bla, fill in the blank with x y or z", but why? No one has to be a millionaire to give.  You see, there are selfish "poor" folks and there are selfless "rich" folks.  Income doesn't determine action.  There is no "us" and "them".  If you can get over that, you're already on your way.

Say it with me... When I feel abundant, abundance finds me. Thank you for all the money I've been given throughout my life. Money supports me. Receiving is my birth right.

| | R E P E A T | |

Wanting money is not greedy.  There are greedy people in the world who do not use money for the greater good, but there are also plenty of loving, heart centered individuals who DO use money to help themselves and others achieve more.  

"Gratitude is riches. Complaint is poverty."