Do You Self-Sabatoge

Self-Sabatoge. 

A phrase that can either comfort, or trigger.

I just finished 2 rounds of HIIT training, in my living room, with one baby asleep on the couch, and the other one mesmerized by me. 

I think it’s because it’s the most he has seen me move in his entire 9 months on this planet. He’s used to looking up at me, with his big blue innocent eyes, from right underneath my boob, or sitting across from him with a spoonful of mush aiming towards his face. 

Either way, I’m sure he’s super confused with what’s going on, but definitely entertained.

I wanted to join the gym this week.  I went to re-enroll, and there was a $75 sign-up fee.  Not to be stingey, but I damn well know that they waive this fee on January 1st (every year), so I said, daggone it, (with my credit card in hand!!!) and convinced myself to wait.

But I’m getting antsy. I want to get moving.

But, I’m also lazy. I mean, I don’t act lazy, but I think deep-down, I want everything yesterday with putting little to no effort in.

I mean... don’t we all? 

I’m the type of person who will read through my old workouts, or watch someone else workout on Instagram, for the same amount of time it would have taken me to do an at home number myself. 

But again, don’t we all?

Yes yes yes!!!

Today, I finally said… F** this sh**!! I needed to sweat. I was dying to get my heart rate up. I needed to feel a burn. I want to wake up tomorrow knowing I’m a little sore from what I did today.

I have been neck deep in work & babies, and putting my fitness by the wayside. 

It’s fine though… we all go through the ebb & flow.  And when you feel ready, you just do.

I stand 100% behind going with the flow and allowing release… definitely not to resist.

Sometimes, there is so much sh** on your plate, timing is not right, and as the saying goes, “when it rains it pours”… but come on now, we all know those moments last a few hours, a few days, a few weeks, and then time opens up again. 

It always does.

Well. I’m ready. I worked out all throughout my pregnancies, but that was the EASY part because the baby is in the oven, protected... not trying to crawl beneath my jump squats.

Things don’t really get hard until the baby is HERE… then the second… then the third.

But the funny thing is, time goes by SO FAST!!! This itty bitty baby is already 9 months! I admit that I massively slowed down, and I’m so glad I did. 

I haven’t missed a moment. Not one. I have been here for the first smile, the first roll, the first crawl, the first babble, the first giggle, the first steps, the teething fevers, the sleepless nights, all of it!!!

But, I’m ready.  I’m ready to get my groove back. 

So …. drum roll please…. I did it!!! I f**kn did. IT.

Coming from a former gym-junkie… I can’t even believe I have to give myself that internal pep talk to exercise.

You know when you’re just so… ready? RIGHT!?

You get excited… SO so so pumped up. And then… you share your enthusiasm with the person who you love the most, and they… well, let’s say they’re not on board.

But you do it anyway! Because, you’re bettering yourself, dammit!!

And you start to see changes… that top layer of baby fat is slowly melting away. You can start to see that sexy definition in your legs and arms… your clothes don’t fit so you have to go buy new clothes… you catch a glimpse of that mirror you just walked by and DAMN you feel good!

So good, you HAVE to snap a selfie.

You have a confidence that you can’t quite explain… you’re walking different, you’re feeling different… 

And then…

It strikes.

The self-sabatoge.

You start to feel guilty… 

OMG. What if my partner/ spouse/ husband/ boyfriend/ finance starts to think that I’m trying to look sexy for other people to take notice… oh shit… I better hold back a bit… I’m starting to look a little TOO good (nom'sayinnn')… I don’t want him to get mad at me... so I better stop.

OR… 

Self-sabatoge example #2…

You start to think you’re too good for the plan, and you forget about ALL the hard you put in… so you dial it out a bit.

You slack off by taking a day off here or there, or slowly revert back to your old behaviors because you think “it can’t hurt” … 

Because you forget!

But it does… it does hurt. And that 30 day challenge you just did… well, it doesn’t really matter because you’re back where you were… you don’t feel good anymore

Boom. 

So you start over again. Maybe. Maybe after that holiday in a month (eye roll), or that party where there will be all that cake (double eye roll) or that vacation that you purposely paid all-inclusive to eat ALL the food, or… 

(fill in the blank _______)

Seriously… fill in the blank.

Why am I preaching to the choir… because I have BEEN there!

The unsupportive spouse, the kids who need me 24/7, the job that I am neck deep in, the upcoming parties with ALL the food, you NAME it… we ALL have a reason, or two, or ten…  to put it off. 

But… when you find a reason that is BIGGER than your excuses, that’s when you’ve nailed it. 

Hold on... wait wait wait... I’ll give you one.

YOU.

Wait, what? What do I mean? … 

YOU?  You mean... me? 

YOU.

You are enough. 

You are worthy.

You deserve this.

A better you, a healthier you… no other reason in the world will cut it. 

Do you have kids? Do you want to be able to run around and play with them? Keep up with them at the playground? Be around to keep up with THEIR kids?  Of course you do. 

Maybe you don’t have kids. Do you have anybody in the entire world that you care about?  Yes? I know you do. 

Think about this… when you make yourself priority #1, you will in turn be able to be a better human, all around, for that person. 

If you put anyone, or anything, consistently ahead of yourself… the well will eventually run dry. 

Stop the self-sabatoge. 

Find a sustainable nutrition program that works WITH your lifestyle, not against it.  

You need to be able to love the food you eat, and love how it’s nourishing your body from the inside.

Find a workout plan that works WITH you, your lifestyle, and even your personality… not against you.

OMG… good thing I know how to do ALL these things for you!

The bottom line is, all of these things should be working in unison with your life, not against it.

Food prep can be easy.  

Exercise can be easy (well, it’s still work but you won’t die)

You do not need a gym membership to start. 

You do not need a pre-workout or supplements up the a** to start.

Stop the excuses. 

Stop the self-sabatoge. 

And most of all, stop dieting & start living.